I used to hate penises, especially my own. I was the stereotypical “I’m so straight I even hate my own penis” meme. I fantasised about getting bottom surgery before I ever thought about being trans.
- Published 2024-08-25.Read more…
1 year tranniversary
Read more…Published 2024-08-17.Today marked my 1 year anniversary on cyproterone. My 1 year tranniversary. My first rebirthday. I started estrogen more than a year ago, but cyproterone is when the real changes started so it’s where I’m choosing to define the start of my transition. I have now known what it feels like to really be alive for one year.
Cis Dysphoria
Read more…Published 2024-08-10.Back when I was closeted, one day my sister got home from getting her haircut, and she was absolutely distraught. The hairdresser had cut her hair too short.
Makeup rollercoaster
Read more…Published 2024-07-01.Putting my makeup on is always such a rollercoaster. It’s like:
- Published 2024-05-22.
If you’re transfem, how do you refer to your young pre-transition self? Here are some options:
- “when I was a child”
Boring, safe, lame - “when I was a young girl”
Validating, asserts that you were always this gender - “when I was a little boy”
Shock value, subversive, power move - “before I was myself”
Dramatic, perhaps even melodramatic - “in the dark times”
You sound like you’re in a fantasy novel - “when I was a pup / kitten”
Very cool option for doggirls/catgirls - “when I was a kid”
Stealthy affirmation for goatgirls
- “when I was a child”
Estrogen drop
Published 2024-05-19.Content warning: dysphoria, internalised transphobia
Read more…Recently I’ve been feeling kind of gross. I think I’ve lost some confidence in myself and my appearance. When I look in the mirror it’s harder and harder to see a woman. I’ve become critical of my hair, my face, my stomach, all things I had started to feel good about. I’ve been unusually pessimistic about voice training, despite making good progress.
Published 2024-05-14. - Published 2024-04-10.
My gf and I are both relatively early in our transitions. When we started dating (about 6 months ago) I’d been on HRT for a couple of months and she’d been on it for around a year.
I think there’s something very magical and exciting about dating someone during this stage of their life. Every now and then you see them after some time apart and get excited because their skin got smoother or their tits got bigger or their gock got cuter. You can watch as their face softens, and as their self-esteem grows.
And having someone to notice these same things about you and tell you about them is amazing too.
- Published 2024-04-05.
I had a dream that I was arguing fiercely with my dad about something but mid-argument he called me by my chosen name for the first time. And I had this weird mix of being angry / fired up still for whatever we were arguing about, but also feeling really pleased at the effort he was making, and thinking what a touching way it was to subtly remind me how much he cares about me even when we are arguing.
And now that I’m awake and know it didn’t happen I’m having a tough time processing it.
Like I don’t think I’d ever get angry at someone for something they did in a dream, but it’s a bit harder to disregard positive feelings I have from a dream. I don’t know if I want to discard them. Let me cling to the unreality.
Published 2024-04-05. - Published 2024-03-22.
The most recent time I caught up with my dad, the first thing he said to me was “Well the breasts are coming along nicely”. Uhhhh thanks dad.
Voice feminisation tips
Read more…Published 2024-02-22.I’m seeing a speech pathologist for voice feminisation, I had my second session today. He told me I need to practice meowing and nyaaing.
Published 2023-10-30.