Back when I was closeted, one day my sister got home from getting her haircut, and she was absolutely distraught. The hairdresser had cut her hair too short.
Her hair looked fine to me, but when she showed me the picture of what she had asked for then yeah, they’d definitely cut it wrong.
Anyway she was about to leave on a big vacation and she was freaking out about how she wouldn’t want to be in any photos in the trip because she was so uncomfortable with how she looked. And I was trying to comfort her but internally I was screaming and I felt close to tears myself.
Because at the time that’s how I felt just all the time. I hated my appearance, I didn’t want to appear in pictures, I didn’t feel like me.
It was kind of an eye opening experience for me. I learned that cis people don’t feel that way all the time. I learned that cis people can feel dysmorphia/dysmorphia. And I realised how intense that feeling is when you aren’t desensitised to it due to feeling it 24/7 since puberty.
