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Has anyone ever written a satire article about how to respond to your child coming out as trans? It could include things like:

• Repeatedly tell them how the fact they didn’t come out sooner has permanently damaged the trust in your relationship. Never mind that coming out is notoriously difficult, this is about you.
• Tell them that every conversation you’ve ever had with them feels like it was meaningless, and that you don’t know who they are.
• Constantly ask them to “pause” taking their HRT. When they reply that pausing it will permanently affect their transition, act like this is new information every single time.
• Tell them that because of them the whole family is now in therapy. When they ask what the therapists are doing because it doesn’t seem to be working, tell them that the therapy’s not about them and act like they’re a narcissist for thinking that it was.
• Write them a 7 page letter talking about how you can’t accept their identity, and make sure to source it with lots of articles about detransitioning
• Show up to their house unannounced so you can argue with them
• Wake them up with a phone call to say lots of transphobic things. If you start to feel guilty about this, hang up without apologising.

Asking because it’d be funny to send to my parents.